I love the author of "The Alchemist". I follow him on facebook and his updates are incredibly penetrating. Sometimes he even adds 10 seconds moral stories, which often questions my own ability to respond to the world and in a good way, too! Today's story was about apologies or, as goes the title, "Sincere Repentance".
My parents taught me to apologize whenever I am wronged and even if I am right, I must not insist my cause. That was one of the many rules in our house. For many years I've been cynical towards their teaching and often fought against that rule. Why must I apologize to someone who is, by fact, erroneous and vulgar and worse than an average barbarian? It is mortifying when that barbarian accepts the apologies of his rival with hours of criticism on his personal being.
It's disgusting!
I am glad that someone at least agree with me: Paolo Coelho. In the short story, "Sincere Repentance" the monk, Chu Lai is defeated by a professor. Although the professor does not want to apologize for humiliating the monk, his wife forces him to do it. Chu Lai, surprisingly does not accept the professor's apology. The wife is furious and demands why. Chu Lai reasons that to accept an apology that is not sincere would only cause tension between them and in a long run, it is better for the professor to acknowledge that he is angry than live his whole life hating Chu Lai.
I love how Chu Lai understood. He clearly understands that forced apology does not create harmony and that he accepts that not everyone can adhere to one's ideas and principles. I bet after this, the professor witnesses why Chu Lai is greatly respected and becomes friends with him.
Apologizing to a man like Chu Lai is enlightening, but to apologize to a moron is suicide. How often do you come across an intellect? Not as often as you meet a jerk. However, I do take to consideration the rewards of humility: inner peace.
For me, saying "Thank you" even when the opposition not right is the way to close the issue gently since they not getting it anyway. There isn't any harm nor you accepting the wrong either way. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's the manner and it always good to be a gentle person. You know truth always is truth and it will unveil even when the people don't want to.
Like the rambling. This is how we realize things in a better way, eventually! ;)
I'd rather accept a cold shoulder or a a gracious exit than apologizing insincerely. Sometimes keeping quiet is better than saying sorry or thanking coming from the nose, as our old folks say. I've always told my children and grandchildren to better say the word if they really meant it otherwise just keep quiet. When they've realized and weighed what's best then that's the time they say those words with sincerity because it means they've learned and realize something from it.
ReplyDeleteI love your blogs and I am one of the avid readers of Paolo Coelho...good luck to you and god bless...hope you have time to visit my blogs as well.I'm new to blogging and how to earn from it so I still have a lot to learn. Thank you that you've accepted my freindship and be able to read your blogs. I've learned a lot from you. :)